I wish to die,
but God is good
I vent my anxious into snacking
Spreading my books on the bed with an opened laptop beside
Trying to learn hard
while actually procrastinating my time in disguise
My brain ask me to get productive
Learn as much as you can
Don’t waste your time
But, that’s all fruitless
Instead of taking a big action
I need to solve my base problem
Controlling my nervous system
and learning step by step from the tiniest part
Its okay for taking the smallest act
Back to how God is good
when I ask for dying
since I feel like everything is worthless
to do
God soothe my heart
Sent me supportive friends who didn’t leave at my lowest time
I feel so shame
Weak
and stupid
Why do I feel this kind of discomfort
Why don’t I act and think just like the others
But something that I grateful for
Thank you for all of my friends
Who keep staying beside me
without any judgments
God try to ease me more
Encompassing me with repentance
and show me how grace the life
How rich we are not measured by how many bucks we have
Yet how could we feel the thankful
in every part of our lifetime
That’s the true richness
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